Small Town Life and Expansion Plates

If global warming is effecting the entire planet, someone hasn't told Granite Falls. This has been the coldest, snowiest winter in memory. Of course maybe its always like this in Granite Falls and since this is my first full winter here I am just finding out what all the other Granite Fallsians have already known. Either way its cold. So cold in fact that our pipes froze this weekend. Frozen pipes!!! In the NW? Its like I was back in Missoula all over again. Only worse, because when you live in the NW you don't think it will get cold enough for pipes to freeze. So when the temperature dipped to 12 degrees Saturday night it caught me with my proverbial pants down.

I woke up early Sunday to make coffee and read the news when I discovered the no water problem. I figured that the frozen pipes must be under the house so I run out to the shop in my jammies and slippers to get my propane heater. Me, my propane heater and the propane tank have to crawl through the trap door that leads under the house. Nothing like cold cob webs in your face on a frosty Sunday morn. I fire up the propane heater under the house. And to answer the question you are thinking, yes I did consider the danger of fire under the house. I love to poke fate with a sharp stick right in the eye just to see what happens. I heated the under side of the house and yet we still didn't have water. It was supposed to get warmer as the day went on so I figured maybe this problem will cure itself with time.

I took the family out to breakfast in hopes of returning later for a shower. No luck. When we got back at noon the water was still frozen and now the temperature was headed south again. UGH. Sometime Sunday night I had a light come on in my head and I remembered that our water meter out by the road was basically uncovered and on top of the ground. I bet it froze there.

Monday I take off work at 10 and head home to try and heat up the meter. I get the propane torch and head out to the road. The neighbor guy came out and helped. Nothing will draw men from every corner of the planet like a mechanical problem that needs fixing. Boy howdy do we like fixing things. ESPECIALLY when it involves using a propane torch. Bob (the neighbor) and I pass the torch back and forth in an unspoken man creed that says "You will share torch time". As we start heating up the meter the ice melts and water starts shooting out of it like a geyser. We get the water shut off and see that the ice has broken the expansion plate off the bottom of the meter. Bob (the neighbor) had explained that meters have plastic plates that break off before the ice can break the main line. Oh that's good info I think to myself. I will be using that line for weeks to come. "You know Chuck, this wine is good but did you know that water meters have plastic expansion plates that will break off before the main line can break?"

Now we get our water from the city of Granite Falls, so I get on the phone and call them, no answer. The wife reminds me that its MLK day and that no one is working. OH GREAT. So I decide to drive to the city hall which is close to see if there is an emergency number on the door. No, no number. I walk across the street to the police station to see if they have a number. Police station closed also. I guess holidays are a good day to commit a crime in Granite. So I walk over to the fire station. I know a kid that is a fireman there and he was working. I tell him my story and his chief says "Well lets just call Lyle (The Mayor) at home. Lyle only lives about 200 yards from the fire station so Lyle (The Mayor) says "I will be right there". About 5 minutes later the Mayor (Lyle) shows up. I explain my situation and tell him that the wife is getting pretty gamey and could he help me get water back in the house. Then I take the opportunity to try out my new line on him, "Yeah it looks as if the expansion plate has blown. You know they put those there to protect the main line". Then I hitch up my pants. I half expected him to say "Well aren't you a little satchel of plumbing facts", but he didn't. He just smiles and says "Well lets go out and take a look". Of course he knows the place. When you are the Mayor of a small town you know everything that is going on. We get to the house and look at the meter. He gets right on his phone and calls the one water guy that works for the city of Granite and asks him to come over (despite it being his day off) and fix the meter. Lyle and I stand and chat it up for about a half hour. Lyle is a fly fisherman and seems to me an all around nice guy. We discuss the fishing in our pond and what our plans are for that. He is what you would imagine a small town Mayor to be. Darn nice guy that Lyle.
I express my deepest gratitude for helping me and tell him that next summer I expect him to show up with his fly rod to fish the pond in payment for helping me. He seems quite happy with that. Soon after he left, Bill the water guy shows up to fix the meter. As soon as Bill walks up I hitch up the pants again and say "Yeah with all the cold weather we been having it looks like I blew an expansion plate". He seems incredibly impressed at my vast plumbing knowledge.
As I was walking back to the house smiling in the sun thinking about my new meter I thought, I wonder how many people in bigger towns have the Mayor come over to help fix a broken water meter on their day off. I am going to go with none.
Lucky me....